Smile
by foxesaredemons
Summary: All she wishes for is one real smile. Is that to much to ask? *In-Progress until I decide if I want to continue it or change it*


_This is my first story that I tried hard on. My other story My Sweet Revenge will be deleted, it isn't well written nor thought out. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Maybe in the future I'll write something like it. _

Why should she care anymore? About anything actually. She ponders this question over and over. What exactly is there to live for when you lose everything, or everybody close to you. Kicking a pebble with her foot, and hearing the soft _splash _as it hits a puddle she looks up at the falling rain, as it slowly soaks her hair. The girl realized she should care, after all it would be wise not to get sick. Why should she care through, life just wasn't fair. She closes her eyes, not caring at all she's drenched, not really noticing either. She's too lost up in her thoughts, she smiles at one. She remembered when she was about six her and her father went outside after it poured to look for bugs. She was never a girly girl, more of a tomboy mostly.

Anyways, she remember looking under rocks and findings bugs and worms getting all excited. Of course once she found them, she would squeal and show her daddy who would smile and chuckle. He always showed how much love for her, no matter what she did. She was his pride and joy after all, his only child she got all kinds of love and affection from him. Forward three years when she was nine. She just learned how to ride a bike finally, but she was still upset that everyone else learned at a young age while it almost took her forever, after all nine years is a long time. Still either way her father was proud of her, he cheered for her, not a care at all that she learned at an older age. That made her happy.

Her favorite memory was when she was ten and in 4th grade, bringing home her last report card. She had straight A's for the first time, yeah she had honors before but not all A's. She came home all excited, and gleaming with pride as she gave her daddy the report card. He was so proud of her, more then he has ever been, which was saying a lot. That was the greatest memory, seeing the look on his face, knowing that she did good.  
At the moment she was glad it was pouring for it hid her tears for the most heartbreaking memory she has. It was a day after her eleventh birthday, October 25th. She came home from school and realized nobody was home, well her baby sitter was there. That was strange, she stopped having a babysitter a few months ago.

Anyways when she asked where were her parents, she wouldn't get a response. She went and did her homework and then watched T.V, when her whole family walked in, well except her daddy. Confused why her family was here, and not her dad she just stared at the them. Her mom finally came over and told her the news, her daddy passed away in his sleep. She thought they were being mean, after all she knew he was sick, but he was getting better. She hoped this with all her heart, after all she kissed him goodbye when she left for school that very day. They just had to be kidding, lying, anything. She would forgive him and everybody when he walked in the door. Realizing he must be hiding she went to look for him, then realization hit her, he's gone and he's not coming back. She ran outside and looked anyways, then broke down crying. She remembered it was raining then too.

She missed him so much, even still after all these years. She coughed slightly, and kept on walking to her favorite place, she knew she was almost there. She wiped the her hair out of her eyes, and sighed softly wondering where it all went down hill, well even worse. She was about thirteen when she met him. She met him through her best friend, and didn't like him at first. She can remember exactly when she did though, when she came to her 13th birthday party. Yeah he was just a crush, but it felt so strong anyways. A few months later in April, they started going out she was thrilled for she wasn't this happy for a long time. He did a lot for her, and she did a lot for him. She loved him so much and would do anything to make him happy. Even if it meant to leave him, of course she didn't know she had to then.

She found out the news in Winter, the news that made her life from good to terrible. She was just coming home from a vacation at her Aunts. Her Aunt and her mom sat her down and talked with her, they told her that her mother had cancer, and only had about 18 more months left. She was once again heartbroken, even more so. She started to get anxiety, and move away from people, being unresponsive. She was depressed, and realized she was bringing the one guy who has always been there for her, her loving boyfriend.

So, she did the best thing for him knowing he'd move on and be happy with his life. That was way better, even if it kept her happy to keep on making him hurt all the time. She loved him so much, cared for him with everything she had. She left, making up lies after lies to keep him in the dark. Of course during this she was being a great actor saying she hated him and never wanted to see him again, if he only knew the amount of how much she cared for him. She wishes all the time she could turn back time to make it all better, to have never of left, but of course can't. It's for the better after all, why make someone you care about so much suffer with you. She was upset when he finally moved on, but she knew whatever hateful things he said she deserved it.

Even today as she's at her favorite place, looking down at the waterfall. She still loved him, she still cared deeply. As long as she kept everything down, it be okay. She knew after almost two years she shouldn't care about him but she does, with everything she has. He's happy, that's all that matters, as long as someone is happy in the end.

Her poor mother, dying of cancer. She loved her deeply, even though a lot she didn't show it. She tried with all her heart to though, and hated herself for how mean she's been to her mother. Her mother gave her life, and is now very ill. It just wasn't fair, everything just got worse and worse. It's amazing how everyone believed her fake smiles, her fake laughs. She chucked at the thought of she was such a bad actor and a liar at one point. Within the past few years she mastered these skills, but really inside this girl was a depressed, sad, lonely girl. She couldn't reach out to anybody either. Nobody would know how she felt, all this pain. She carefully looked down at the souring water of the waterfall. She had found a secret ledge, up high where you could see everything.

Then she realized how she could get away from it all, it was a very selfish thought, but she didn't care. It was her turn to do for herself, to make the pain go away. It was cruel, and unforgiving, but in time the few people who would care, and there wasn't that many, would forgive, after all they said they loved her, and wanted her to be happy. She stepped to the ledge of the rock, and with her first real smile she jumped.

* * *

_This is roughly based on my life. But when I wrote this I decided this would be a great story to share sorry If it's hard read, it didn't stay how I edited it.. I hope you enjoyed it._


End file.
